The importance of self-love is something that has been repeated enough times to be cliché but how do you actually love yourself?
It’s something I had taken a keen interest in because it’s something I felt was missing in life. Over the years, living my own unmatched high expectations, beating myself up about things had become the norm and I started to question myself…why is it that I do more for others than I do for myself? Why do I deny myself of nice things? Why am I harsh on myself? Why do I not accept myself as I am? Why am I looking for love in all the wrong places with all the wrong people?
It was more than just the low self-esteem because of not meeting my own high standards. At some point I had actually decided that I was incapable of being loved and I don’t think I’m alone when it comes to that.
Being an entrepreneur can be an emotional rollercoaster at times and love is the one emotion I think we all need to maintain a sense of stability or a safety net…it’s the one thing nobody should deny themselves of, especially by themselves.
When you love someone else you do a lot for them, you want to make them happy every day, you accept them just as they are…And if you love yourself it gives you healthy levels of self-esteem, confidence and self-acceptance. You’ll find yourself taking more risks and handling criticism better. You’ll find that failing doesn’t chip away at your self-worth like it otherwise might have done. Those all form an essential foundation for high achievement.
There are lots of other ways and techniques that you can use to love yourself that would probably offer a quicker result but this technique was one taken from the book “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It” by Kamal Kavikant and I agree with his way of thinking, that self-love is a practice.
This is not just a “set and forget” approach. This is something that you should be reminding yourself of and reinforcing daily to recharge your emotional battery as it were.
I also find that meditation…well when you have so much going on, it’s just amazing to silence everything else and focus purely on one thought for a few minutes.
How To Love Yourself With Meditation Step-by-step
Step 1: Set a time limit. I would suggest for 10 minutes and put on some music. Something soothing, gentle and preferably instrumental.
Step 2: Sit down, with your back against a wall if that helps. Cross your legs or stretch them out, whatever feels natural.
Step 3: Close your eyes. Smile slowly. Imagine a beam of light pouring into your head from above.
Step 4: Breathe in and slowly say to yourself in your mind, “I love myself”.
Step 5: Breathe out and along with it, anything that arises. Any thoughts, emotions, feelings, memories, fears, hopes, desires. Or nothing. Breathe it out. No judgment, no attachment to anything. Be kind to yourself.
Step 6: Repeat 4 and 5 until the music ends.
(When your attention wanders, notice it and smile. And with that smile, return to your breath. Step 4, step 5)
Step 7: When music ends, open your eyes slowly. Smile.
Why use music?
Listening to the same piece each time will act as an anchor, easily pulling you into a meditative state.
You’ll want to do this meditation at least once every day for 10 minutes, maybe even twice. (I highly recommend buying the book “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It” for the other techniques because they’re really simple to implement also)
The results for me have been subtle and progressive with each passing day. My battered self-esteem has seen the biggest improvement in my opinion and a lot of negative “beating myself up” has dissolved since I started.
When I tell other guys about “loving yourself” I get the impression that they associate it with something that only middle aged women do but this is for people of all genders and ages.
If you think your self-esteem is lacking or just that something is missing like it was for me then this is a great technique.
I’d highly recommend this practice to anyone and I’d love to hear about your experience and results with it.